Headache

5/26/10 From my journal:
     I woke at 2 am with a headache.  It slowly got worse.  I finally got up and took some ibuprofen, laid back down and it got worse and worse.  I felt like God was saying:  "Stand up!"  Everytime I sat up in bed, it seemed to feel a little better.  I got out of bed again and woke Paul.   I ran into the kitchen and then proceeded to throw up cause the pain was so bad.  He held me and sat with me on the couch and prayed for my headache to be healed.   I just kept hearing the holy spirit say:  "stand up" so I told Paul - I feel that God is telling me to stand up.  So Paul said "well then I guess you'd better stand then!"  So I did.  And threw up again in the wastebasket.  ( sorry to be gross- but when the pain is that bad it causes you to be sick- and this was some seriously bad pain).
     All I could think as I threw up was that God was getting rid of something- the ibuprofen maybe?  the bad stuff of the day? the difficulties with Holly, the difficulties Audrey was having with a girl at school named Beth.  He was telling me that HE was going to heal my headache and heal all the other stuff too. 
     After I threw up yet again- I sat down on the kitchen chair.  My legs began to shake crazily.  I could not control them from shaking or stop them.  It felt so strange. 
"STAND UP!"
It couldn't have been any clearer than that.  I felt as if God was shouting at me.  So I immediately stood and my legs stopped shaking!  Paul held me and then I felt God saying something new.  "BE OBEDIENT."  so I said out loud:  "Stand up.  Be obedient."  (Paul probably thought I was crazy).  My head was still pounding and I was crying.  But I knew this was an encounter with God that I would never forget.  '    
     I sensed as I stood that I was standing in his strength not my own- because even sitting hurt my head more and sitting made my legs shake too.  So here I am standing-thinking I should be lying down and yet HE doesn't even want me to sit.  He wants me to stand in his strength. 
     I then lifted my head from Pauls shouder where I was resting  it.  I looked at the window and the pain was terrible.
Then HE said, "Put your head down." and I heard the word "Humble".  This was said lovingly but firmly.
So I said out loud: 

Stand Up

Be Obedient

Be Humble

After a while, I finally felt peaceful but still had some pain.  I walked to the living room to sit because I was no longer hearing the persistent "stand up" any longer.  I sat down and held my head up and sat quietly waiting until ~ no headache!

     Finally- Praise God!  the headache was gone.  I felt so peaceful.  I had gone through a phyisical battle but more importantly and more memorable to me, was not the pain of the headache but the sound of God's voice talking directly to me.  It was a kind of spiritual battle, where God is victorious,

That God won the battle!  And I had an encounter with God that was so clear and unforgettable.  That I will always hear Him saying to me:  Stand Up -even when you think you can't because I Am is holding me up!  Be Obedient! when I am tempted to take a step or a path that is not pleasing to HIM, or to go after my own selfish desires.  Be Humble! when I start to think I know it all and this will give me Peace! 

     I was never more grateful in my life as I was with the headache gone and the feeling of clarity that came with it.  Talk about- I can see clearly now the headache is gone!  Praise God!
     The following day I began doing my devotions in the morning.  I was reading the book of Ezekial.  I came to Chapter 2 verse 1 which says:  He said to me, Son of man, "Stand up,"
on your feet and I will speak to you.  As He spoke the spirit came into me and raised me to my feet, and I heard him speaking to me."  Oh wow!  Confirmation, directly from God's word.    Praise God.  I knew that the headache I experienced was a true encounter with my God.   I will never forget it.
      I have been praying for the holy spirit to be upon me and now I know for certain it has - it is!  When my legs trembled and God brought me to my feet - it happened then!  I never doubt that I have Jesus in my heart and along with that the gentle guidance of the holy spirit.  But this was a specific, completely memorable encounter with God.  Having gone to many women's retreats and situations where I have seen people slain in the spirit or experiencing unforgettable things, I had always longed for some kind of the same kind of experience.  I was skeptical that God would put me on the floor.  But the beauty of this was that God did just the opposite for me.  He stood me up!  He reminded me of my weakness and His strength.  He gave to me what I needed.  And then to give me this verse in Ezekial.  It was almost too much to absorb.  You are preparing me for what you will have me say and do for your glory.   All that is needed now is for me to be obedient to whatever He asks of me.