Discernment and Sincerity

     Discernment ~ I have been told by my good friend Lynne at church that  I have the gift of discernment.  I tryed to define that to myself.  I consider it to be a deep feeling or gut feeling of right and wrong in a situation.  An instinct of how things should go or be.  I looked for this word in the bible concordance.  The NIV note says this:  "The Greek word means moral or ethical understanding based on both the intellect and the senses.  The word implies perception or insight into social situations."  So I guess my own feeling on what it means was pretty close. 
The place in the Bible where the verse is found is

 Phillipians 1:9

"And this I pray that  your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment that you may approve the things that are excellent that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God." 

 

     Being such a sensitive spirit, I tend to spend so much time trying to gauge others feelings.  I look at their facial expressions, stance and attitude and try to figure them out.  It can be exhausting.  Especially when I really care about someone and they are unhappy.  I want to make them feel better or fix it.  And with some people, who I won't name, I can't figure them out or I get a feeling of unease around them.  This can be so uncomfortable to me so much so that my spirit feels heavy.  Then I try to protect myself from that feeling and wont get too close. 

     Then I looked at the part in the verse that says "that you may be sincere and without offense".  This is what I struggle with because if I can't love someone or don't trust them, then I find it difficult to be sincere in praying for them or seeing them as you do Jesus!  So I must continually place them at your feet Lord!  And trust that someday I may feel YOUR love for them.

 

     The note in my NIV bible on sincere reads as follows:

Sincere ~ this term literally meaning "judged by sunlight" does not mean "honestly trying hard" but rather pure, unmixed and free from falsehood.  Any spot in a garment could be seen by holding the object up to the sunlight.

    

 I want to love more and better.  I don't want to be forever protecting myself from people and situations.  I guess I spend a lot of time evaluating people which might be considered judging them Lord.  Help me not to be so judgemental.  But to evaluate on who needs you the most so that I can be their friend, love and pray for them!

     Let my sincerity be the kind that when I hold it up to the light, it is clean and bright and beautiful!  In Jesus name.  Amen.



Christmas Day 2012

Merry Christmas to us!

 

 

 

 

                                             Faith and Audrey didn't get up too early ~ 7:30!  

Merry Christmas Hunny!

 

                                                            Nolan showed up around 8:30!

Smiling for Mama!

 

 Winnie the Pooh was one of Nolan's favorite movies as a child. 

 I couldn't resist giving him this Little Golden

book featuring Pooh stuck in the gopher hole!

 

Snug by the fire.  Audrey's favorite place to be!

 

 

Grover enjoying his dog bone!
 

Messy, cozy Christmas mornin!

 

 Ta Da!  Faith and her new magic kit!

Snow Dog

 I took my first snowshoe walk of the year last week.  I like going and bringing Grover with me because he doesn't need a leash out in the fields!  As soon as I go outside and he realizes it is time for a walk,  he leaps and bounds through the snow almost like a bunny rabbit.  This day was no different.  We headed out back.  There is a small stream that we cross first, then a hay field and finally a gate through to the golf course. 
     The stream wasn't quite frozen all the way yet so I took a very clumsy jump across the foot or so of water and managed to land upright!  Grover just sloshed right on through.  Then he ran ahead and I broke a trail through the foot of snow on the ground!

Grover ran ahead exploring along the edge of the woods.  Every so often running back to me to make sure I was ok.  Eventually, after about a half mile or so, he ended up behind me.  I could feel him stepping on the back of my snow shoe every so often.  We trudged along.  I think we might have only walked about a mile when he really slowed down.  All of a sudden he bounded ahead and then  stopped and lay on his side.  I looked down at him.  I couldn't help but laugh when I realized that he was totally covered in snowballs on his entire belly and legs!!  He could hardly move another step!  He had huge snowballs stuck to the balls of his feet and hanging all over his belly and legs.  The poor dog was trying so hard to keep up with me.  I think this dog would follow me anywhere!  But then he just couldn't take another step!  What a dog!  I guess when he got wet crossing the stream, it caused him to collect the snow as he ran through it!  I got down beside him and tryed to remove the bulk of it!  Then I carried him to the stream and tossed him over! 

 

 

Here we are once we got back to the house.  Still a lot of snow stuck to the little guy.  It was hard to remove them all so we ended up bringing him in the house and running some warm water in the tub to get the rest of them off! 

 

 

I couldn't help but think about how loyal a dog is to keep moving even in such an uncomfortable state.  I think as people, we sometimes tend to do the same thing.  Leaping ahead.   Trying to get through life, carrying so many burdens, and worries.  Sometimes we try to help too many people or fix too many things.  We get so bogged down that we can't enjoy the "walk through the snow". 

      I am reminded that I can only do so many tasks in a day.  I must do the best I can but learn to say no. I must not take on too many responsibilities.   In my Bible study group today, my mentor, Lucy was saying that even though she often feels that she could help in situations; it isn't always her job to do so.  We must learn to do what we can where God has placed us.  He doesn't expect us to do it all.   So when I collect so many snowballs that I just lay down in the snow because I can't keep moving, He will brush me off and pick me up!  But why try to carry such a big load to begin with?  It is better to keep my eyes on HIM.  Let him break the trail and I will follow behind! 

Psalm 23:3 says

 "He restores my soul. 

 He will lead me in paths of righteousness for his name sake."

Thank you Lord for this lesson.

 

Christmas Decorating with Daddy and Mumma

     I went to the barn today to help Mumma and Daddy decorate.  Daddy handed me some gloves to help carry the Christmas tree in.  It's about 12 feet tall and very heavy.  He likes to do things at his own pace.  So I have learned to take direction and not rush him.  Thankfully, Joe had put it on the porch so we didn't have to drag it too far.  Daddy was huffing and puffing a bit but up it went.  So fun to hear his commentary.  For those who don't know him, he is sarcastic and goofy all at the same time.   Telling Mom he hoped she only spent $500 dollars on his Christmas present and why doesn't she help him up and down the ladder?  Of course then he started saying," don't make fun of me, you'll hurt my feelings."  "You know how sensitive I am."  He cracks me up because he is the toughest man I know.  You would be hard pressed to find a way to hurt his feelings unless you offend one of his children or grandchildren.  That is one way to hit his sensitive side!  I just so enjoyed him and his banter today. 
      So we got the tree up and then I went to the basement to bring up decorations for the living room.  Mama wanted to do a little bit at a time.  I know I probably didn't place things exactly as she would have but I tried to do my best.  It is frustrating for her not to do it all by herself anymore.  A few years ago she bragged how she had over a thousand lights lit up all over the barn.  No small feat for this little lady!  We had fun though, checking for working lights and admiring old decorations.  One candle still had a Woolworth sticker on it!  She has had it for 50 years! 
     I have to brag, that Mama fried me up so haddock for lunch with mushroom rice!  It was cooked perfectly!  I was hungry after vacuuming up all those pine needles!
     Then we watched The Young and The Restless and wrapped presents.  Daddy had gone out to get milk.  When he came in he told us "I'm losing it" cuz he forgot to go to the bank.  I think he is far from losing it!  He is sharp as a tack!  He strolled to the kitchen and came back with a big smile on his face.  "I got the squirrel in the rat trap!" he said.  "Merry Christmas to me!"  haha.  He told me he baited it with peanuts and didn't set it until the squirrel got used to it.  Then he got him!  What a character!  I love my Daddy!  I always wish I can capture his personality with words.  It is so difficult.  He is an amazing man!  Smart, tough, funny.  Did I mention that I love him?!

How ridiculous that Daddy ended up with this mug at the Christmas Party this year!

 

Thankful for Christmas Party

     Every year we have a family Christmas party at my brother Joe's house.  Jen, his wife is the real party planner.  She really knows how to plan big functions!  Tons of food, activities for the little ones and our annual "Yankee Swap".  You have to be there to appreciate it.  It used to be a fairly manageable crowd.  Some of us siblings got together and we all brought either a joke gift or some prized item that everyone would like to go home with. Like a potato gun, strobe light or Justin Bieber life size cut out.   But over the last ten years as our little ones grew up, the party became bigger and bigger.  This party probably had about 60 + people.  So the Yankee swap has become the "Big Event".  Everyone trying to outdo eachother by coming up with the best or funniest gifts. 
     Since the party usually coincides with my Moms birthday, we have cake and sing Happy Birthday to her.   This year she gave a short speech.  She said, I just want you all to know how happy I am that so many of you are here.  It means so much to me to have all of you together.   I want you to know that "my guy upstairs"  ~God~ is taking care of each and everyone of you!   The words may not be exact but they are close.  Knowing my Mom as well as I do, I know this.  That she spends much time in prayer for her family.  She doesn't sleep well at night so she spends a lot of time talking to the "man upstairs."  We are as blessed as we are because of this praying woman!  There is no doubt in my mind about that! 

Psalm89:1 says this:  "I will sing of the mercies of the Lord forever;  With my mouth will I make known Your faithfulness to ALL generations.  For I have said Mercy shall be built up forever.  Your faithfulness, You shall establish in the very heavens."  I believe this is what she was trying to tell her family.  All that He has given her in this wonderful family is a direct gift from Him!

  

                                             I think she is quite overwhelmed here.

 Pretty yummy cake!

 

I think Colby was the most enthusiastic singer!~

 

I heard Jimmy tell Colby that he could share his cake with him.  Colby replied "I'm not sharing"
 

These pictures might not be the clearest but they capture all of the craziness and fun!

 

 

 What is Ebonie thinking in this picture?
 

 Alex, Audrey, Emily, Jasmina, Olivia

"The Food Court"

 

 My Big Brothers ~Joe and Jimmy and Lisa

 Andy and Shanni

 Laura and Craig

 My favorite Rednecks

 Daddy enjoying some birthday cake!

 

Devon and Alex

 

Sammi and Olivia

Shanni, Julie and Andy

Mark opening a package containing 5 jars of homemade hot fudge sauce made by moi!

 

Freddy looking oh so impish!

 

Kristy holding the not so coveted peacock candle holder!

 

Daddy is such a good sport about his "prize."

Laura sporting her "I have been "T-bowtized" t-shirt!

Matt displaying his fancy "high heel wine holder", another not so wanted gift!

Jimmy fought to the finish for a box of razors with many refills!

 

Beautiful cousins and friends!

Wow, second cousins Ebonie and Olivia!

 
Plenty of fun and conversation!

 

Mikey and Laura

 

Julie is hastening to pick out her Yankee Swap gift!

 

Finishing out the party by decorating Christmas cookies!

And here is a final blessing on the FitzSimmons extended clan.
 1 Peter 1:9
"But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation.  His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people but are now the people of GOD who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy."

 

Thankful for Prayer Day 27

     I continue to be thankful for how God speaks to me in his word.  Even when I only have time for a little bit of Bible reading, I usally am blessed by some verse that I never noticed before.  I know that I can commune with my Lord all day long.  As I go about my day I can offer up prayers of praise and thanks when I see something beautiful.  The other day as I was driving home from work the sky was so clear!  It was getting close to sun down and the full moon was already out.  The sky had various shades of blue, pink and purple and the moon hung there above the mountains.  I marveled at what I get to look at in this amazing state of Vermont.
     I can also be a light for Him as I take care of my patients, converse with them and try to make them comfortable.  I can also offer up intercessory prayers for my friends and family.  As I go through my day and think of different people, I can just say, Lord be with my friend, touch them, strengthen them or heal them.  Prayer doesn't have to be anything formal.  It just has to be from the heart.  He hears me wherever I am at and whatever I am doing.  So thankful for my close relationship to God!

Thankful for my healthy body Day 26

     I was really trying to do a blog a day for 365 days of thankfulness and now I am behind.  The stuff of life gets in the way I guess.  But I am determined to catch up!  Today I am thankful for my healthy strong body.  I have always enjoyed exercising, running, biking and walking.  I love the high I get when I work out and the overall sense of well being.  Having suffered from anxiety and depression for many years I find that exercise really helps so much to relieve that feeling.  Running was my passion but now I find it much more difficult on my joints.  I try to rotate with running , walking swimming in the summer and the ever famous insanity tapes with Shaun T. which have actually strengthened me more than anything else.  It helped me while I was training for the Spartan Race that I did with my family in August!  That has been my biggest challenge and I hope to do it again next year!

Thank you Lord for my healthy body which

 allows me to run and walk and take care of so many things. 

 I am grateful for this and hope to bring you joy!