Sensitvity

   So the word God has given me in the last few days is Sensitive.  I looked it up in the dictionary.  and basically it is "responsive to and readily affected by eternal conditions or emotion stimulation."   Like a sensitive part of the body or a sensitive child.   The definition that defines me though is "susceptible to the attitudes, feelings or circumstances of others; acutely or sympathetically aware">thaaaaaaat's me!
  Sensitivity can be a blessing and a curse. Take it from one who knows.  Sure it's great when you can be sensitive to someone's feelings.  Being able to look at someone and know that they are hurting or worrying or in pain.  This certainly helps me in the health care field.  I can look at my patients and know what they need, if their blood pressure is going to drop; if they are tired, they are nervous, they are experiencing cramps or other pains.  This is good because I can meet their needs quickly.  I can reassure them and comfort them and provide the necessary intervention.  Its also great when I can use my sensitivity to know when to speak and when to shut up; to put it plainly.
      I often think about what it would be like to be tough, thick skinned, able to let things roll off my back like water off of a duck!  But God didn't make me that way.  He made me uniquely sensitive to the needs and feelings of those around me.  He made me sensitive to the rights and wrongs in this world.  He made me sensitive to violence on t.v, in the news and even in books.  He made me sensitive to those I've offended and wronged.  He made me sensitive to children and babies and given me the desire to make things right when I see someone crying. Oh, this is good because it is part conscience, and it is part loving and it is wanting what is good and right in this world. 
      So sensitive at times that it becomes difficult to trust because I don't want to make a mistake.  I don't want to get too close to someone and then fail them myself or on the flip side -be disappointed by them. So sensitive that I worry about many things.  So sensitive that I let my imagination go wild and become anxious about what could happen.  So sensitive that I worry what others think.   This is when it becomes a curse.!
  So for me to have come this far in life with such a sensitive spirit I have had to lean on God for as far back as I can remember.  To trust Him with my fears, my anxieties and my worries about the bad stuff of this world.  One of the first verses I ever remember memorizing is Phillipians 4:5-7  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  (And this is the part that I have repeated in my heart and mind since I was about 12 years old)  And the peace of God which passes all understanding will keep your hearts and minds at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus."  I can remember praying "keep my heart and mind at rest Lord"  over and over again at different points in my life.  But most especially, when I went through a severe bout of post partum depression 14 years ago.  That is a whole other story but it was the darkest time of my life.  This verse and others were the one thing that I could cling to and get through that time.  God truly did stand guard over my heart and mind.  God the King, used his word, which is sharp and alive and all powerful and defended my heart and kept it at rest.  He gave me sensitivity, which can be a curse and a blessing and used it for His glory alone.
Sure, I'd love to be tough as nails but I guess I'll stay sensitive and rely on God for his strenth!