Angels

     I never really thought about angels seriously.  But recently my sister Susan read some books about them and some of the stories she shared with me really struck.   Surely angels are from God and have a purpose.  I have been looking up some verses about them in the Bible and here are a couple of them which really seemed proof of how they sometimes come to protect us while we are in trouble here on earth.  However I must preface this writing with the fact that I believe God is the one who chooses who and when to send angels to, to help.  He is the ultimate determiner of this.  I place my trust in Jesus and what He deems best for me.
     "Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple and said to Him, "If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down.  For it is written;  He shall give His angels charge over you , and in their hands, they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone."  Jesus said to him, "It is written again, you shall not tempt the Lord your God."  Matthew 4:6
     I believe that when God has a purpose for someone that has not been fulfilled in this life, that He will send an angel to save them should they be in a dangerous situation.  I think that He sees the whole picture and knows all circumstances.  He places us where we need to be when we need to be there.  In this way, His purposes will be fulfilled. 
     Matthew 26:53 says this  "But Jesus said to him, "Put your sword in its place, for all who take the sword will perish by the sword.  Or do you think that I cannot now pray to my Father and He will provide Me with more than twelve legions of angels?"  This is what Jesus said to the men in the Garden when He was about to be arrested.  A legion is equal to an army of 600 men so 12 legions would be equal to 72,000 men!  Wow!  He had no doubt that God would send angels to help Him if necessary to save Him!  But in this situation, God's purpose was for Jesus to die on the cross for us. God did not send angels to save Jesus because His purpose was for Jesus to die to save mankind. 
     When I was a little girl of about 8, I was walking over to my friends house.  I had to cross Main street which was a fairly busy street at the time.  The year was 1973 or so, so it was more safe in those days to walk places.  It's just the way it was.  We often had to walk to the store to pick up things for my Mom.  I was standing across from the A&P, in between 2 cars parked along the side.  I looked both ways for my chance.  I remember seeing a truck coming but thinking that it was quite far away.  Surely far enough away for me to make a dash to the other side.  My judgement at age 8 apparently was not correct.  The next thing I knew, I opened my eyes and was looking straight up at the underside of a vehicle and not realizing how I got there.  I had no recollection of being hit or of any pain whatsoever.  I was just confused.  I was flat on my back.  I rolled myself over and crawled towards the front of the vehicle to get out.  I remember it so clearly.  When I got to the edge of the front end, a man was reaching down for me.  He grasped my arm and I shook him off and just ran towards the sidewalk.  All I knew was that he was a stranger and I had to get home.  I ran as fast as I could.  My next door neighbor, a boy, Joe S. was on the sidewalk watching and then he grabbed me.  He was delivering newspapers and he saw the whole thing.  He and the man, walked me back to the truck and brought me home to Mama.  It was such a scary thing.  But the beautiful thing was that I did not get hurt.  Not even a bruise on my body.  I remember my Mama laying me on her bed and checking out my arms and legs looking for bruises or cuts or broken limbs.  Not a thing wrong!  Looking back now I would say that an angel shielded me from harm that day.  I was not hurt at all.  This precious life of mine was protected.  Hopefully for the purpose of sharing the love of Jesus with my family and friends.  For this time. 
     I don't want to write this to hurt anyone.  Just to share a story.  For I know that some people die young.  It is so unfair.  It hurts too much.  We question why didn't He send an angel to save someone?  Someday, our questions will be answered.  Only He knows His purposes.  We just have to trust that He knows best. 

Waiting

     Do you ever feel like God is silent?  Like you wish He would tell you what to do or when to do it.  That you pray and pray for someone or something and it doesn't seem He listens.  I could go on for a long time about this.   It is difficult; especially when I am a get things done kind of person.  I want to move forward and feel impatient for new things to happen or for someone to get healed.  For everyday troubles to fall into place.  I have to wait on God.  Sometimes I just wish He would write answers in the sky.  But still I wait. 

     Yesterday I was exercising to an Insanity video.  The sound stopped working so I found myself completing the workout  without any encouraging instruction or the sound of the music.  So quiet and strange.  There was only about 20 minutes left to the workout so I kept plugging along.  I knew what to do and how long each exercise lasted but still nothing seemed right.  I like hearing the voice of Shaun T and the music.  I like hearing my teacher speak!  After about 10 minutes of silence except for the sounds of my jumping around, the sound blasted back on.  Yay!
 
      At the time I was comparing this to listening to God's instructions in life.  Sometimes He is silent.  He wants me to continue doing what I am doing to the best of my ability.  Working, loving, taking care of my patients and family and giving as much as I can.  I stay in prayer and read His word.  I know what He expects of me.  He trusts me to do the best I can.  I feel like He was telling me that when He wants me to make a change, or do something for Him, or make a new move in life, He will tell me and it will be loud and clear just like the sound of that video volume turning back up!  As I wait in expectation I am excited about my future and what He has planned for our family!

I pray this prayer.  In the morning you hear my voice, in the morning I place my requests before you and wait in expectation.  For I know that you have all my plans in place.  Plans to prosper me not to harm me.  Plans for a hope and a future.  I trust you with my life Lord!  I hope it is loud and clear when you speak.   In Jesus name, Amen.  I am learning to wait.  I am not always patient but I know He will answer. 
     I read this verse today in James. "Therefore be patient brethren until the coming of the Lord.  See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain.  You also, be patient.  Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand."  James 5:7&8  I am glad He speaks to me even when I am exercising!

The Daughter of a King

     I have had a few situations lately where I feel I have disappointed others.  I try, but I can't do as many things as I would like.  There are so many needs around me.  Work, patients, children, my parents and my husband.  Sometimes I feel  guilty when I can't fit everything in and have to remind myself that it is not what I do but who I am in Christ that matters.  The reason I write this blog is to share the love of God with my family.  This poem is what God gave me in 2007 and I would like to share it again. 

The Daughter of a King

I am the daughter of a King

An heir to all that this brings

Not of riches of gold

But of a wealth that has only begun to be told

The riches I will inherit

Are not earned on my own merit

But are a gift of grace from my Father

And a prize that is beyond measure

Of the gifts that He bestows

Forgiveness is first and foremost

The forgiveness leads to peace

And a feeling that is oh, so sweet

And relief from all the pain

This is what I gain!

I sit, not on a throne

But at the feet of one to behold.

I am not adorned in silk clothes

But in a robe washed clean as the snow

What else am I to aquire?

Lands or jewels or fortune?

Not, these things are not to be

What I will inherit is eternity!

This life has already begun you see

It started the day Jesus came to live inside of me

The path to my Father is He

The Father, the Son and Spirit

Trinity

I will live forever in joy

With my brothers and sisters all there

A river of life is our food

In a place where the streets are paved with gold

And a Father who is always at home!

Yes, I am a daughter of a King.

And all this inheritance brings.

1/8/2007

Happy 17th Birthday Audrey

 On September 4th we celebrated Audrey's 17 birthday!  It seems like just yesterday she was 16!  How the years have flown by.  This girl is special.  Pretty, loving, huggable, a hard worker, devoted, loyal and strong!  She has loved and learned alot of lessons already in her 17 years.  Especially in this last year.  Getting her liscence, her first job, and a car!  She has loved and lost someone special.  She has poured out her heart to me.   This makes me so happy.  Because she shares with me, she wants me to know stuff and she clings tightly to her Mama! 

This new "woman" child is always gonna be my little girl.  I marvel at how she has changed and grown. Sometimes I can't believe she is that same little girl.  How she carefully looks at situations and how they affect not only her but everyone around her.  How she can apply what she learns to every part of her life!  She complains that she is not good at anything.  Not true.  She is HERSELF and no one does this better thant Audrey!  She is grasping, seeking and so passionate about life!  I love her.

Happy Birthday sweet daughter!

Enjoying birthday dinner with Mama, Paul, Faith, Jerica and Nikki

Turtle cake with sparkler candles!

Make a wish~the best is yet to come!

Here is the poem that Audrey wrote for me for my birthday last year.  So funny and so Audrey!

Herman Mama

Happy Birthday to my Mom

She's not mean, nor dirty

I forget how old she"s gonna be

So let's pretend she's thirty

You know what Mom!

You're really not fat

You're Beautiful

& unfortunately allergic to cats

That plaid big butt

I didn't get from you

with you as my trainer

I'll be brand new!

You're such a great role model

Except when you tooot

You taught me to fight back

When witches threaten to prosecute

Denying my request for a dog

Year after year

Now Grover loves you best

Not exactly what I feared

MAMA KNOWS BEST

There are no "nice boys"

Who needs the male gender

You supply all my joy

This is the first poem I've ever written

So sorry if it's dirt compared to yours

Oh and by the way,

I need more zit cream to cleanse my pores!

How fun is this poem?! 

Love you girl!

How Music Touches Us

 

  

     Last month I had the pleasure of watching my granddaughter Ebonie for the day.  She is almost 2 now and I love watching her change and grow.  I took her to Joannes fabrics and taught her how to say pretty and color.  She kept grabbing at the different fabrics to see how they felt.  Then we drove to Grammas house to spend some time with them.  It was the first time since she started walking that she actually sat still and in my lap for a time.  A whole hour actually.   Nice that she is slowing down just a little.  Long enough to look at a picture book with me.   
     While I made dinner I played a Robin Mark cd.  She really responded to it.  She stood near the music player swaying and dancing a little.  When the music was fast I would pick her up and twirl her around to see her smile get bigger! 
     Then as I continued to prepare our meal a song came on that was a little softer.  She got so quiet and still and just stood there listening.
 The words were these...

How great are you Lord! 

How great is your mercy

How great are the things that you have done for me

Your loving kindness is filling my heart as I sing.....

How great are you LORD!

How great is your love

It reaches to the heavens

How great is the heart

That sought and rescued me.

 

Even at the age of almost 2, my little granddaughter was able to discern the sweetness and specialness of this song.  May God bless you Ebonie.  May HE hold you in the palm of HIS hand and keep you safe all the days of your life!

 

Love Mima

 

Art Hop with my oldest and youngest

 

Faith and I set off for Burlington Saturday morning to see what we could see.  I thought we could picnic on the water front or poke around on Church street.  We got there at 12:30 and found the Farmers Market was hopping. 

     We sampled cheese, and nuts and hot pepper jelly on crackers and cinnamon, maple peanut butter.  Faith even tryed stuff she wouldn't normally eat. We grabbed some cotton candy and some Indian food and planted ourselves on the grass. I was hungry to people watch and it was a delight to my senses to watch the children running around chasing enormous bubbles.  We listened to some men playing banjos and watched the action. 

       It was kind of chilly so we decided against walking down to the waterfront.  Faith decided to call Jake and wonder of wonders, he answered on the first ring!  He told us to walk down to Pine street and meet him.  Faith is always thrilled to spend time with her big brother so I knew she would be happy no matter what we were doing.  He said you gotta check out the Art Hop!  So we traveled down Pine street and in and out of old factory buildings, perusing the Art studios of Burlington's finest!  Quite an adventure and just plain old fun being together and looking!
    

                                                             Setting off to see the sights.

Cool Rhino!

Pretty girl!

Makes my heart sing just seeing these two together!

Faith loved this phone booth because it reminded her of Dr Who's traveling police box!

Jesus loves you!  and me too!

Breakfast anyone?

This circus inspired Faith to make one of her own Sunday night.

 

On the roof

I like this alot! 

Chilly out!

I really liked that insulator light.  Perhaps Paul can build me one!

 

 

Paul would have liked seeing these pieces!

This is the restaurant Ramen where Jake works.  He built the tables.   Nice job Jake!

Lil sis, Big bro  :)

What a sweet day!

Faith made her own circus display last night.  Very inspired by the art hop!

Thanks to you Lord for inspiring me with new sights and sounds on Saturday. Thank you for my children.   Every good and perfect gift is from above.

Planting Seeds

    I love to garden.  I have started alot of my perennials from seeds.  One flower that really takes off well is the Daisy!  I remember putting tiny seedlings in the ground about 4 years ago in the garden closest to my house.  Feeling excited and hopeful about how pretty they would look.  I love daisies.    Well, they grew! And they grew and they grew and they grew!  This year I had so many daisies that I could not even see the rest of the flowers.  Maybe about 50 plants and tons of tiny baby daisy plants. I do like them but they were really starting to take over so I knew it was time to dig some up and give them away.  To move some away from the house to the field where they can take up all the room they want.  I want to have a couple in the garden but I also want other colors and textures.

     I couldn't help being reminded though of the way this compares with life.  Hopefully, I am pleasing the Lord as I sow seeds in HIS kingdom.  Seeds of kindness to my patients.  Seeds of helpfulness at church.  Seeds of friendship and love to my family and friends.  And especially the seeds of salvation to those in need of a savior.  I like to think of the abundance of flowers in my garden as proof of the seeds I planted.   All of those flowers are beautiful.  Hopefully when I share my stories here on my blog and tell my patients about the Love of  God, I am planting seeds that will bring forth the fruit of salvation.  Every time, I listen to God when HE tells me to talk to others, share a book or a Bible with them, give them an uplifting note, or a smile, I am planting seeds of hope and love.  And someday they will have that peace of knowing HIM as I do. 

God is greater than our heart

     "God loves each one of us as if there were only one of us.   I read this quote yesterday on someones facebook page.  I have seen it before and have always loved it.  Knowing HE loves me that much is a comfort.  I know when I had my first child, Nolan, I was so in love with him that I couldn't imagine ever loving another baby as much.  But, of course then came Holly and Audrey and Faith! and my step son Jacob!  My capacity for loving them was always there and always enough!  That is how He loves!
     As I go through this life, trial after trial confronts me and those around me.  Recently my daughter lost her friend to a car accident, another friend lost their Mom and still another just lost her husband.  I have seen many of my patients pass from this life.  Four of them died in this past month alone.  My sister-in-law had a heart attack.  My youngest daughter suffers from anxiety.  My Mama is aging and not as strong as she used to be.   It is overwhelming.  It is exhausting.  Yet still, I carry on.  I look for the good and I lift my loved ones up in prayer.  I talk to God and I ask why and I ask him to heal and to strengthen and to comfort.  Sometimes I doubt my faith.  Sometimes I think angry thoughts and I think that I am not good enough or genuine enough.  This troubles me.  But I came upon a verse today that also brought comfort to me. 

"My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue but in deed and in truth.  And by this we know that we are of the truth and shall assure our hearts before Him.  For if our heart condems us, God is greater than our hearts and knows all things."  1 John 3:20

My feelings are ever changing and my heart does condemn at times but it is my FAITH which I must count on as truth.  He knew beforehand that I would have these worries.  My actions and my giving to my family and patients are the fruit of what He wants me to do.  I am not enough but HE is more than enough!  Thank you for that Lord!  I will keep on plugging.

Childhood Memories (This is for you Julie and Mary)

                                                 1971

Mary ~ age 4              Janet ~ age 6           Julie ~ age 10

     I found this old photograph recently.  I am in the middle.  Julie my older sister by four years is to my left and Mary (aka Paco for her nick name) is on my right.  What a precious memory.  Julie and I in our matching one piece jammies.  Mary probably would have had the same pair if Mama could have found some in her size.  We are fresh out of the bathtub and Mumma has already pulled our hair back and out of our faces.  Something I continute to do til this day after I bathe.  We are scrubbed clean and excited about this photo which I believe my sister Ann took with her polaroid.  What a magical thing that camera was!  We excitedly watched our images appear as it developed before our eyes!   We are standing in the living room of our home on 638 Montello Street, Brockton, Mass.  So many memories in that little house where all nine of us were raised.  Though there are photos, there aren't so many when we are little like this.  But the ones we do have are precious and treasured. 

     Thanks Mama for the good care you took.  Dressing us pretty, curling and braiding our hair.  Even if it was lumpy and bumpy on the pillow.   Rubbing a little bit of VO5 on it to make it shine!  Always bringing us to church and dressing us up for Easter with bonnets, gloves and black shiny shoes!  Tea and toast and corn muffins on Sunday nights while we watched Disney movies or Shirley Temple movies together.  Playing hangman in the kitchen on the little chalkboard.   Squished together on the couch watching the Brady Bunch and Little House on the Prairie.  Oreos and sometimes even Ring Dings for snack with a glass of cold milk.  You were so busy.  You never even had a dryer for the longest time yet we were so well dressed.  Our fondest memories of you is when you could finally sit down at the end of the day with us in the living room and relax.  Love you Mumma!

When words are not enough

     "My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do!"  I remember singing this song at Vacation Bible school and summer camp!   We more than sang it, we shouted it!  This song just came to my mind.  I was trying to think of a way to comfort my daughter today.  Words are insufficient.  But somehow this song came into my mind.  On this day, I won't sing it or shout it, but I will think it.  I can't sing today because of what happened. 
      Today, my 16 year old daughter found out that her friend died last night.  It was a car accident.  He was hit by a drunk driver.  Four teenagers were in this car and he is gone now.  The rest are hospitalized.  Six days ago, this boy called her and asked her to hang out.  She was thrilled.  She spent the evening with him and other friends.  She was hopeful, excited.  This morning she called me at work, crying, incoherent and in desperate need of someone.  Noone was home.  All I could do was promise to send someone there to comfort her.  I sent my sister Susan to help.
     Now, I am home and all I can do is hold her, hug her, dry her tears and listen.  There are no words to explain why God took home this young, vibrant 17 year old boy.  There is nothing to say to fix it, to bring him back, to make it right. 
     Never, has it struck me so strongly just how fragile life is.  To think that it could have been her in that car is unthinkable.  I did not know this boy and my heart sinks to think of the life and love of someone else's son taken away from them.  I am mourning for this beautiful lost life and my daughter's heartache.  I feel it to the core. 
     How can I comfort her, LORD?  How can I help her through this?  You are strong and mighty and yet I am whispering it now.  I can't but YOU can.  This I ask of you now, Jesus!  Comfort Audrey with only the comfort you can give.  Embrace her, and as angry and hurting as she is now, I ask that you carry that burden for her.  Show her YOUR love through amazing friends and family who will never turn away from her.  She will be crying out to YOU with every emotion but I ask that YOU will oh so gently whisper your love to her!  She is your precious daughter Lord and I trust you in this!
My words are my prayer and I ask this in JESUS name.  Amen

"The spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,

because He has appointed me(JESUS)

to "heal the broken hearted" 

 To comfort all who mourn,

 To give them beauty for ashes,

The oil of joy for mourning, 

The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;

That they may be called trees of righteousness,

The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified."

From :Isaiah 61

Discernment and Sincerity

     Discernment ~ I have been told by my good friend Lynne at church that  I have the gift of discernment.  I tryed to define that to myself.  I consider it to be a deep feeling or gut feeling of right and wrong in a situation.  An instinct of how things should go or be.  I looked for this word in the bible concordance.  The NIV note says this:  "The Greek word means moral or ethical understanding based on both the intellect and the senses.  The word implies perception or insight into social situations."  So I guess my own feeling on what it means was pretty close. 
The place in the Bible where the verse is found is

 Phillipians 1:9

"And this I pray that  your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment that you may approve the things that are excellent that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God." 

 

     Being such a sensitive spirit, I tend to spend so much time trying to gauge others feelings.  I look at their facial expressions, stance and attitude and try to figure them out.  It can be exhausting.  Especially when I really care about someone and they are unhappy.  I want to make them feel better or fix it.  And with some people, who I won't name, I can't figure them out or I get a feeling of unease around them.  This can be so uncomfortable to me so much so that my spirit feels heavy.  Then I try to protect myself from that feeling and wont get too close. 

     Then I looked at the part in the verse that says "that you may be sincere and without offense".  This is what I struggle with because if I can't love someone or don't trust them, then I find it difficult to be sincere in praying for them or seeing them as you do Jesus!  So I must continually place them at your feet Lord!  And trust that someday I may feel YOUR love for them.

 

     The note in my NIV bible on sincere reads as follows:

Sincere ~ this term literally meaning "judged by sunlight" does not mean "honestly trying hard" but rather pure, unmixed and free from falsehood.  Any spot in a garment could be seen by holding the object up to the sunlight.

    

 I want to love more and better.  I don't want to be forever protecting myself from people and situations.  I guess I spend a lot of time evaluating people which might be considered judging them Lord.  Help me not to be so judgemental.  But to evaluate on who needs you the most so that I can be their friend, love and pray for them!

     Let my sincerity be the kind that when I hold it up to the light, it is clean and bright and beautiful!  In Jesus name.  Amen.