"God loves each one of us as if there were only one of us. I read this quote yesterday on someones facebook page. I have seen it before and have always loved it. Knowing HE loves me that much is a comfort. I know when I had my first child, Nolan, I was so in love with him that I couldn't imagine ever loving another baby as much. But, of course then came Holly and Audrey and Faith! and my step son Jacob! My capacity for loving them was always there and always enough! That is how He loves!
As I go through this life, trial after trial confronts me and those around me. Recently my daughter lost her friend to a car accident, another friend lost their Mom and still another just lost her husband. I have seen many of my patients pass from this life. Four of them died in this past month alone. My sister-in-law had a heart attack. My youngest daughter suffers from anxiety. My Mama is aging and not as strong as she used to be. It is overwhelming. It is exhausting. Yet still, I carry on. I look for the good and I lift my loved ones up in prayer. I talk to God and I ask why and I ask him to heal and to strengthen and to comfort. Sometimes I doubt my faith. Sometimes I think angry thoughts and I think that I am not good enough or genuine enough. This troubles me. But I came upon a verse today that also brought comfort to me.
"My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth and shall assure our hearts before Him. For if our heart condems us, God is greater than our hearts and knows all things." 1 John 3:20
My feelings are ever changing and my heart does condemn at times but it is my FAITH which I must count on as truth. He knew beforehand that I would have these worries. My actions and my giving to my family and patients are the fruit of what He wants me to do. I am not enough but HE is more than enough! Thank you for that Lord! I will keep on plugging.
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